So It's Fine

About this Video

The Funny Indian & MONROK Show can't really get off the ground due to an altercation that breaks out during the filming of the very first episode. Transcript: "Welcome to the Funny Indian & MONROK Show. I'm the Funny Indian, Rajiv Satyal." "And I'm MONROK. Wait. What happened? Because I thought we were gonna call it The MONROK & Funny Indian Show." "N-n-n-no, no, uh, because I'm like better than you are so, I figured, we'd just... so... I'm like the main guy, so..." "Yeah, but you're like half the size of me and I'm, like, ten times better looking than you, so it just makes more sense that I would be like the lead. Like, I mean, you could be more like the sidekick, kind of like how like Chewy is on Chelsea Handler except, yeah, I guess that probably doesn't work because Chewy is still bigger than you... so, it's fine." "OK, it's not like, I mean, you didn't try to use your beautiful looks to, uh, sleep with Bill Maher to try to get your career... going in Hollywood and that didn't work for you since you're not even funny, so it's fine." "Yeah, it's not like I won - I didn't win - California's Funniest Female or anything, so it's fine." "Yeah, the thing about that contest is that it was about four people in a restaurant in Fresno, CA, and females aren't even funny so it'd be like a California's Smartest Retard Contest, so it's fine." "Yeah, OK, so maybe females aren't as funny as men but it's not like you're even a man so it doesn't really count, so it's fine." "It's not like I haven't been, uh, doing this for eight years now and a regular in all the major LA comedy clubs and you've been doing the same 7 minutes at Starbucks for the last year, so it's fine." "Yeah, it's not like you performed at your cousin's baby shower at 11 am on a Sunday last week or anything 'cause you really needed the money, so it's fine." "It's not like I haven't been opening for, uh, Tim Allen and Russell Peters and Kevin Nealon, so there's that." "Yeah, it's not like you've been doing that for like 5 years and you couldn't even get me a spot on your own show because how the hell am I supposed to open for an opener? So it's fine." "It's not like I could even have you on the show since you have the onstage personality of an automated voice mail greeting, so..." "Yeah, it's not like anybody can even really focus on your standup because they're too busy looking at that bright light shining off of your bald head, so it's fine." [Fight.] "It's not even like your, uh, parents had to wait an extra two years to have a real daughter since you looked like a boy for half of your life, so it's fine." "Yeah, it's not even like your parents ever got a real son 'cause your brother's gay and you never bring a home women because you're a freakin' loser, so it's fine." "It's not like I could bring you home anyway since your areolas cover up half of your breasts, so it's fine. Or your,uh, hairy-olas... so it's fine." "It's not like you haven't had sex in three years and the last time you did you paid for it and she still flaked on you, so it's fine." "It's not like I could have sex with you anyway since you have zero sexuality and if I pull your pants down it'd look like a Barbie Doll down there, so it's fine." "Yeah, it's um, it's not like, um.... YOU'RE UNCIRCUMSIZED." [Pause.] "Welcome, everybody, to the MONROK & Funny Indian Show."